Not jokes

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?

'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!

Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?

A family restaurant.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?

Because of the Corona Virus.

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)

Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?

Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

I did not.

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.

Why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to escape the corono virise?

I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!

Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.