Not jokes
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.