Not jokes
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"