Not jokes

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.

Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!

Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?

Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!

*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*

Lionel: AHHHHHHH

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.