No one jokes
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
No one has my back like my dad.