No one jokes
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."