Night jokes
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Who would've known?
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.
Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!
Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?
Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!
Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.