Newness jokes

The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!