Newness jokes

Orphan

    • New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

    Students: "OOF!"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Your parents!"

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    Violence

    • There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

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    • Nut

    • There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

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    Helium

    • I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

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    Job

    • My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

    Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

    Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

    My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

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    Orphan

    • In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

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    • Job

    • When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

    So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

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    Doctor

    • I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

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