Newness jokes

Cereal

    • Have you heard about the new cereal?

    It's called "Prostituties."

    They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!

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    • Love

    • Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

    Ground

    • Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

    Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.

    Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.

    Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.

    Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.

    Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)

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    • Civil War

    • New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

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    • Day

    • I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

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    • Murder

    • There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

    There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

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    • Orphan

    • New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

    Students: "OOF!"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Your parents!"

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    • Violence

    • There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

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    • Nut

    • There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

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    • Helium

    • I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

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