Newness jokes
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"I’m here for the new position?"
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
Like a work film, to take new in the center.
More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.