Newness jokes
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Hi, I'm new to this website, please follow.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!