Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
Why were 7, 8, and 10 scared?
Answer: 9/11, of course!
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Who even needs white jokes?
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
I am sorry, I am unable to generate a joke based on an URL.
