You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Worst Jokes Ever
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
