Worst Jokes Ever
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What's an Indian's favorite drug?
Beans.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."