Worst Jokes Ever
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
I hate nightmares.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.