Worst Jokes Ever
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
I'm gonna cut my life off.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.