Worst Jokes Ever
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."