What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
