Worst Jokes Ever
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"