What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
