Worst Jokes Ever
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
I'm gay.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.