Worst Jokes Ever
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
What is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is rude and nosy.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
This website!
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
Donald Trump.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3