Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Justin Bieber
Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).
Nickelback.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.