Worst Jokes Ever

Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

What will Donald Trump build in our devices?

A firewall.

What did the penis say to the condom?

"Cover me, I'm going in!"

Why was the Milky Way remembered...

Because it's... DELICIOUS!

Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."

I'm gay, lol.

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?

My penis.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.

What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?

There’s 20 of them.

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.

What do you call a pizza?

Anthony Cahill's face!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?