Worst Jokes Ever
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Joke.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.