Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Worst Jokes Ever
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Your mom gay.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
A single sentence walks into a bar.
Every moon has a silver lining.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.