Worst Jokes Ever

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

I have a son. Her name is Zara.

I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.

When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.

What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

Please don't kill [me].

What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

'Cause they are dead.

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

Why do pills work?

Because they are white.

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."