Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a retard in the military?

Special forces.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

Why are carpenters never horny after work?

Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.

Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty.

Why are obese jokes so offensive?

Because fat people have enough on their plate.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...

What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?

A robot can feign empathy.

Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?

Because when they win, they lose.

What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?

Black is their favorite color.

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?

Because it's in bread.