Worst Jokes Ever

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.

Pop a choccy milk!

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

What's the definition of suspicious?...

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀

Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.

What do you call a blind German man?

A Nazi.

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.