Worst Jokes Ever
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.
I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Hahah, funny joke!
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
I am your leader.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."