Worst Jokes Ever
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What do you call a retard?
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
A blind guy walks into a bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!