Worst Jokes Ever
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.