Worst Jokes Ever

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!

What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.

Your mom gay.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

bröd

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?

There isn't one; they are both the same thing.

I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

Because they lost their two best shooters...

Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.