Worst Jokes Ever

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered sex offender.

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.

Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.

Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.

Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."

What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?

A frog in a blender.

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

Pork-chop!

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

Crucifixion was the first T-pose.

It took Jesus 3 days to respond.

Worst lag ever!

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

Ben Inkster, more like gay.

A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

And so he did.