Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?

I hear they got six months each.

If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

1950: In the future there will be flying cars.

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

This is funny.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?

Udder destruction.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?

A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.

What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?

He ordered some cock-bang-ho.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.

I like unicorns.