Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

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  • What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

    ...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

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  • They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.

    Then the antidote becomes the most important.

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  • I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.

    *I was actually up all night watching.*

    God creating cats.

    GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.

    ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?

    GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

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  • I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

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  • If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

    A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

    Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

    Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

    A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

    When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"