Worst Jokes Ever

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D

What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?

A pork chop.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

Corn and corn, where is popcorn?

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?

Why not?

Too old.

Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Answer: Tequila

What do you call an ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?

A tromBONE.

Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.

#1: What are you doing?

#2: Watching a movie.

#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.

Khalil Abubakar

You make the juice go through my power brick.