Worst Jokes Ever
Anal sex is for A**holes.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Jokes...
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Wack.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.