Worst Jokes Ever

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Oofer.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Can a box match? No, but a tin can.

I wanna die.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.

Two nuns in a bath.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

¿Hola, quién es?

Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

When do astronauts eat lunch?

At launch time.