Worst Jokes Ever
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
I make science puns periodically.
A bass drum is the boss.
What animal lies? A lion.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.