Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.

Q) What do trees call deforestation?

A) TREASON!

Terrance M.

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

Why do orphans go to church?

It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?

Because he is DEAD.

Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

You're gay.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Yeah, me too.

Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"