Worst Jokes Ever
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips 😂
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.