Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
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"Time"? More like waiting.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.