Worst Jokes Ever
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.