Worst Jokes Ever
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
What is your car's name?
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
I'm Batman.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Baby 🍼