Worst Jokes Ever
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why can't orphans play cricket? Because they can't find home.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!