Worst Jokes Ever
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.