Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Poop backwards is poop. 💩
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.