Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Yo mama so far I thought see was a beach whale
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
youre face
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Knock knock Who's there Dumplin Dumplin who Dumplin the killer
911 whats your emergency? Me: Officer My Girlfriend is dead! Operator: What Happened!? Me: She Bit The Tip
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What is Juice WRLD's favorite restaurant?
Little Seizures.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 😂
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to Cancer it.
one time in camp i kissed my bunkmate bret in the shower. he cupped my breasts and lathered them in prell, But im totally not gay.... :)
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the dr said (0) he said take these tablets (2x) a day but she took them (4x) a day and she ended up boobless
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Have you heard the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying. Not so great way to find out you are adopted
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
