Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

He doesn’t know where home is.

Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?

Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.

Daughter: You so get on my nerves.

Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.

Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.

Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?

So they can call someone "daddy."

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

Why can’t you give an orphan homework?

Because they don’t have a home to do it in.

What is the leader of the school supplies?

The ruler!

Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?

A family restaurant.

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?

Georgie floated!

Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."

Me: "You should be Batman."

Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...