Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
The one by die.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
I drew a picture of Colby.
Too bad it got ripped up 😢
