Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ''Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ''I know. i'ts driving me nuts!''
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
Sally fell of the swing. Knock knock Who’s there Not sally
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
