Worst Jokes Ever

Why did my dad leave me?

Because I was gay.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

Bully: You are ugly.

Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.