Worst Jokes Ever
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
Orphans have no home.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣