Worst Jokes Ever
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
Yessssss, MEaster!
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?
Because he can't sign the parent's signature.
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
Your hairline!