Worst Jokes Ever

Why don't chickens and sheep get along?

Because they have beef between them.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?

They don’t have money.

Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

Knock knock.

Who's there? Discord server.

Discord server who?

This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.

You know I want an ADHD cure.

When?

Squirrel!

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.

Can I die?

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?

A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.